Wow, I just realized that I left off on a really down note last time. You'll be pleased to know that things are looking much better than they have in a long time. While not m uch has changed in the work/recovery arena, I'm really feeling like I've finally got a lot of my personal shit together. I'm more confident in general talking to people again, I have the strength to stay out and have a social life during the day, and I feel like I have a clearer path in front of me.
Nothing like attainable goals to make a guy feel like not an invalid.
A little update on the going on of the last couple of months, I've been continuing with physio three days a week, and hanging out with my neighbours kids and helping them with their math homework two other days. Its been a lot of fun, and its helped me decide that teaching is definitely the direction I want to take. I might even be able to get into teaching professionally without going through the ordeal of post-secondary education again.
My birthday was awsome, not just for cool swag (but that helped), it was a really fun time at the party, despite a lot of people not being able to make it... And I had a smaller party at my moms house which was a really cool opportunity to see some people from my past including my favorite teacher from high school. It was especially nice to see him too, as the last time I heard about him he was fighting cancer (he won btw) and I was pretty sure I wouldn't see him again.
I've also been up and on my bike a whole bunch too. About a week into October, fate turned in my favour and the sun came out and stayed out, so I spent as much time on two wheels as was humanly possible.
God I hate doing updates, but the moral of the story is that I'm a happy Jules, and things are definitely looking up. More stories to come soon!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Well spellcheck liked it...
Their ones was a man who predicted the whether, and always new weather it wood rein or knot. While he was quiet good a tit, he spent to much thyme thing king a boot it, and never made any fiends.
Won knight, he was out four a wok, and had a chance to meat sum peep hole from work, but he had know moan knee, sew in steed, he waked home and swept...
Sorry, this is preposterous, I feel like I had some better homonyms and such to play with, but dems da breaks as they say. The style pretty accurately describes where my head is at, discombobulated, and out of sorts, correct, but not right....
Lately, as I've mentionned, things have been kinda lame, romance not going the way I hope (the way towards existing in this case), money being tighter than usual, school and work on the horizon, but somehow not attainable yet, and on top of it all my physiotherapist still won't let me ride my bike!!!
Things keep up like this and I might just pick up and start running, not towards anything, not away from anything, just staying in transit until I collapse or have some kind of profound.... Well anything but the status quo will do!
Won knight, he was out four a wok, and had a chance to meat sum peep hole from work, but he had know moan knee, sew in steed, he waked home and swept...
Sorry, this is preposterous, I feel like I had some better homonyms and such to play with, but dems da breaks as they say. The style pretty accurately describes where my head is at, discombobulated, and out of sorts, correct, but not right....
Lately, as I've mentionned, things have been kinda lame, romance not going the way I hope (the way towards existing in this case), money being tighter than usual, school and work on the horizon, but somehow not attainable yet, and on top of it all my physiotherapist still won't let me ride my bike!!!
Things keep up like this and I might just pick up and start running, not towards anything, not away from anything, just staying in transit until I collapse or have some kind of profound.... Well anything but the status quo will do!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Disenchanted
Disenchanted:
–verb (used with object)
to rid of or free from enchantment, illusion, credulity, etc.; disillusion
ex: The harshness of everyday reality disenchanted him of his idealistic hopes.
**********
Is there any sadder a state than disenchantment? Its hope's kryptonite. Uncertainty and disenchantment have played a big part in my thoughts lately. The insurance company has summarily decided that I no longer need their assistance, despite the fact that I am not capable of continuing my career, and have no means of retraining myself. My lawyer things it will take months to appeal, so now things are tight again, and while I'm still recieving welfare, its not enough, and its starting to make me worry about things like rent and eating on top of everything else....
–verb (used with object)
to rid of or free from enchantment, illusion, credulity, etc.; disillusion
ex: The harshness of everyday reality disenchanted him of his idealistic hopes.
**********
Is there any sadder a state than disenchantment? Its hope's kryptonite. Uncertainty and disenchantment have played a big part in my thoughts lately. The insurance company has summarily decided that I no longer need their assistance, despite the fact that I am not capable of continuing my career, and have no means of retraining myself. My lawyer things it will take months to appeal, so now things are tight again, and while I'm still recieving welfare, its not enough, and its starting to make me worry about things like rent and eating on top of everything else....
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Awkward Super Heroes
I've been tossing around some ideas for characters for some larger writing endeavor, and I feel its time to actually commit them to something a little more sound than my memory!
Theodore Glass is invulnerable, there is nothing on the planet that could hurt him, but he has no idea. Theodore hasn't taken a risk in his life, he has almost no friends, and lives in a constant state of paranoia about the (non-existent) risks of his everyday life. He works from home, working tech support over the phone, and never stepping foot outside his house.....
Dorian Grisman has been alive for 452 years. He has the benefit of the compiled knowledge of that time, but he has a problem: He is confined to two dimensions, having had a mad artist paint a portrait so good that it lives on as him well after his body .
Hugh Mannitz suffers from a rare physical dissociative disorder similar to multiple personality disorder, but actually wakes up as a physically different person every time he sleeps. His mind remains the same, but he occasionally is stuck in the body of a little girl (or anyone else for that matter).
Jacob Sparrow can't fly, but hes closer than most. While he knew all his life that he was different from others, he didn't know the full implications of his differences until a near tragedy when he was knocked off a parking tower by a passing police chase. After falling most of the way to the ground, Jacob landed gently on a cushion of air about two feel high that he could create under himself at will. Unfortunately, he couldn't move or expand the cushion, but it was always there when he fell.
************
I have others that perhaps I'll append at a later time, but thats a taster of the angle on super powers I want to take. I'd rather take superhero-type mutations and warp them to be a little less convenient!
PS - I'm open to suggestions for other "heroes" that might fit in with the gang too!
Theodore Glass is invulnerable, there is nothing on the planet that could hurt him, but he has no idea. Theodore hasn't taken a risk in his life, he has almost no friends, and lives in a constant state of paranoia about the (non-existent) risks of his everyday life. He works from home, working tech support over the phone, and never stepping foot outside his house.....
Dorian Grisman has been alive for 452 years. He has the benefit of the compiled knowledge of that time, but he has a problem: He is confined to two dimensions, having had a mad artist paint a portrait so good that it lives on as him well after his body .
Hugh Mannitz suffers from a rare physical dissociative disorder similar to multiple personality disorder, but actually wakes up as a physically different person every time he sleeps. His mind remains the same, but he occasionally is stuck in the body of a little girl (or anyone else for that matter).
Jacob Sparrow can't fly, but hes closer than most. While he knew all his life that he was different from others, he didn't know the full implications of his differences until a near tragedy when he was knocked off a parking tower by a passing police chase. After falling most of the way to the ground, Jacob landed gently on a cushion of air about two feel high that he could create under himself at will. Unfortunately, he couldn't move or expand the cushion, but it was always there when he fell.
************
I have others that perhaps I'll append at a later time, but thats a taster of the angle on super powers I want to take. I'd rather take superhero-type mutations and warp them to be a little less convenient!
PS - I'm open to suggestions for other "heroes" that might fit in with the gang too!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Na na na na, ba da da daaa!
"And Homer, if you could kill someone on the way out, that would help me a lot!" - Hank Scorpio (best villain ever!)
I've been on a Simpsons bender this week, rewatching old episodes at a furious rate! My all time favorite episode is You Only Move Twice (s8e2) from which I grabbed that delightful line. I'd just like to take a moment to pay tribute to the hilarious shows, movies and people that shaped my sense of humour, and by extension my view of life.
=======================================================
"We have to get these people to a hospital!"
"A hospital? What is it?"
"Its a big building with patients, but thats not important right now!"
Number one on the list is the deadpan genius known only as Leslie Nielson! From Airplane to Naked Gun (2 1/2, 33 1/3), to lesser known 90's spoofs such as (get a pen) Wrongfully Accused, and Spy Hard.
"Makes you feel so, sort of, insignificant doesn't it?"
"Yeah... yeah... So, can we have your liver then?"
"Yeah, alright, you talked me into it."
It was hard to pick just one bit of dialogue to represent the madness that is Monty Python! I didn't have a huge video collection, but what I did have was every one of Python's full length movies. Over the years I diligently memorized every bit of dialogue in the movies, and have been known to quote them at length if you don't tell me to shut up quick enough :P
"And why would the good people of England follow you, Robin?"
"Because unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent!"
Oh Mel Brooks you funny funny man, I doubt it was a coincedence that you always played a (to varying degrees) beligerent, womanizing, drunk- but then again, you gotta play what you know!
There were lots of other influences over the years from the antics of Family Guy, to the word play of Arrested Developement, to the ... well the list goes on indefinitely, I'm sure you get the idea!
So in conclusion, I say, laugh and be merry, and any time you want a good comedy, odds are I can point you in the right direction!
"Man if I had a dick I'd go get laid!"
"Yeah, well, we're gonna do the next best thing."
"Whats that?"
"We're gonna kill people."
I've been on a Simpsons bender this week, rewatching old episodes at a furious rate! My all time favorite episode is You Only Move Twice (s8e2) from which I grabbed that delightful line. I'd just like to take a moment to pay tribute to the hilarious shows, movies and people that shaped my sense of humour, and by extension my view of life.
=======================================================
"We have to get these people to a hospital!"
"A hospital? What is it?"
"Its a big building with patients, but thats not important right now!"
Number one on the list is the deadpan genius known only as Leslie Nielson! From Airplane to Naked Gun (2 1/2, 33 1/3), to lesser known 90's spoofs such as (get a pen) Wrongfully Accused, and Spy Hard.
"Makes you feel so, sort of, insignificant doesn't it?"
"Yeah... yeah... So, can we have your liver then?"
"Yeah, alright, you talked me into it."
It was hard to pick just one bit of dialogue to represent the madness that is Monty Python! I didn't have a huge video collection, but what I did have was every one of Python's full length movies. Over the years I diligently memorized every bit of dialogue in the movies, and have been known to quote them at length if you don't tell me to shut up quick enough :P
"And why would the good people of England follow you, Robin?"
"Because unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent!"
Oh Mel Brooks you funny funny man, I doubt it was a coincedence that you always played a (to varying degrees) beligerent, womanizing, drunk- but then again, you gotta play what you know!
There were lots of other influences over the years from the antics of Family Guy, to the word play of Arrested Developement, to the ... well the list goes on indefinitely, I'm sure you get the idea!
So in conclusion, I say, laugh and be merry, and any time you want a good comedy, odds are I can point you in the right direction!
"Man if I had a dick I'd go get laid!"
"Yeah, well, we're gonna do the next best thing."
"Whats that?"
"We're gonna kill people."
Monday, August 3, 2009
Summer of you knooooow whatever!
So here it is, the cold hard truth, its August already, and that means September is right around the corner... *shakes head in disgust*
I find myself looking back on the time thats passed since my life was turned upside down, and realizing that its already been half a year... Six months since I was folded in half under a car, wondering if I'd ever walk again... Its still so surreal...
Excuse me, I guess I'm just gathering my thoughts for tomorrow. I have an insurance sponsored psychological evaluation, and I'm not even sure what its about. I assume it has something to do with my settlement, an assessment of damage, and I really dont know what I'm going to say...
On one hand, I've been trying my best to live as close to a normal life as I can muster, and while the pain in my back has been a nearly constant companion, I've managed to at least appear normal...
But on the other hand, though I have been able to "maintain" a lifestyle, theres still so much thats missing, and that will be for so long... I miss being able to push myself to the brink of exaustion, or even at all. I miss being able to go out and get a job, my independance- both financial and functional... Just little things that seem so easy to attain...
Blegh, what a life we live- but you know, when it boils down, at least the foods good!
I find myself looking back on the time thats passed since my life was turned upside down, and realizing that its already been half a year... Six months since I was folded in half under a car, wondering if I'd ever walk again... Its still so surreal...
Excuse me, I guess I'm just gathering my thoughts for tomorrow. I have an insurance sponsored psychological evaluation, and I'm not even sure what its about. I assume it has something to do with my settlement, an assessment of damage, and I really dont know what I'm going to say...
On one hand, I've been trying my best to live as close to a normal life as I can muster, and while the pain in my back has been a nearly constant companion, I've managed to at least appear normal...
But on the other hand, though I have been able to "maintain" a lifestyle, theres still so much thats missing, and that will be for so long... I miss being able to push myself to the brink of exaustion, or even at all. I miss being able to go out and get a job, my independance- both financial and functional... Just little things that seem so easy to attain...
Blegh, what a life we live- but you know, when it boils down, at least the foods good!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Party tricks!
So heres a funny story, I went for an adventure this weekend to a house party up in Woodbridge... A sub-urban neighbourhood still in the process of being built. We parked next to the big pile of dirt, and while I went into the place with the two best looking girls there, we were relatively unnoticed...
I played wall flower for a beer and a half, taking the party in, and watching bemusedly as the kids there played a drinking game called "mushroom", stacking playing cards precariously on the top of a beer bottle. When I got bored, I stepped outside, and sat down to spin one- immediately a slightly drunk person shows up at my side "Hey man, I need your guitar to impress a couple of girls inside" being the trusting sort, I let him, and sudenly I was "the coolest" just for having brought the guitar, having not yet even played it :P
Overall, an excellent evening, and an interesting adventure, I scored a foldout couch to sleep on and then on the train ride home, I sat packed into the GO train with a bunch of girls and lady-boys in gold bras and glitter doing eachothers' hair in front of me most of the way :)
I played wall flower for a beer and a half, taking the party in, and watching bemusedly as the kids there played a drinking game called "mushroom", stacking playing cards precariously on the top of a beer bottle. When I got bored, I stepped outside, and sat down to spin one- immediately a slightly drunk person shows up at my side "Hey man, I need your guitar to impress a couple of girls inside" being the trusting sort, I let him, and sudenly I was "the coolest" just for having brought the guitar, having not yet even played it :P
Overall, an excellent evening, and an interesting adventure, I scored a foldout couch to sleep on and then on the train ride home, I sat packed into the GO train with a bunch of girls and lady-boys in gold bras and glitter doing eachothers' hair in front of me most of the way :)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Time for a paranoid sounding ramble!
Back! And stranger than ever! I've been thinking a long time about humanity and its future from here... I've come to realize that we're getting ready to take our next "evolutionary" step; We're on the brink of transfering our very being from a carbon to a silicon foundation. We are silmultaneously hurtling ourselves towards a life of existance solely on the computers, and creating computers that can thing, reason, communicate, even create, just like us.
We live now in an age where one can spends an entire (and reasonably) functional life without ever leaving their computer. Through that screen, you can shop for anything you could imagine, from food to clothes to entertainment (viewable on computers, of course) to company for the evening! People take courses online, while they're there, they chat with friends via instant messaging services, they plan a webcam party for that evening, switch tabs and order a pizza, and only even have to stand up to go to the bathroom! And we wonder why people arent getting enough exercise!
We are phasing out creativity at a furious rate too, movies become so formulaic, and charachters become so repeated that the viewing public doesn't even notice that every movie is now being released 3 times with a progressivly watered down plot (trilogies, pfft)... Music isn't a creative enterprize anymore, people dont buy guitars to make mucis anymore, they learn to play someone elses songs, and whats worse is that most of the "popular" music being made these days by robots anyway!
And on top of it all, there is a never-ending drive to make computers smarted and more like us, how often do you hear the words "intuitive software" these days its everywhere! You're golf clubs have a computer helping you play the game!
So to round it all out I submit this statement: Humanity is preparing itself to transfer conciousness, our very "soul" on to computer technology. We are working on making computers into brains, and weather that leads to Star Trek or to Terminator, its coming!
We live now in an age where one can spends an entire (and reasonably) functional life without ever leaving their computer. Through that screen, you can shop for anything you could imagine, from food to clothes to entertainment (viewable on computers, of course) to company for the evening! People take courses online, while they're there, they chat with friends via instant messaging services, they plan a webcam party for that evening, switch tabs and order a pizza, and only even have to stand up to go to the bathroom! And we wonder why people arent getting enough exercise!
We are phasing out creativity at a furious rate too, movies become so formulaic, and charachters become so repeated that the viewing public doesn't even notice that every movie is now being released 3 times with a progressivly watered down plot (trilogies, pfft)... Music isn't a creative enterprize anymore, people dont buy guitars to make mucis anymore, they learn to play someone elses songs, and whats worse is that most of the "popular" music being made these days by robots anyway!
And on top of it all, there is a never-ending drive to make computers smarted and more like us, how often do you hear the words "intuitive software" these days its everywhere! You're golf clubs have a computer helping you play the game!
So to round it all out I submit this statement: Humanity is preparing itself to transfer conciousness, our very "soul" on to computer technology. We are working on making computers into brains, and weather that leads to Star Trek or to Terminator, its coming!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Apocalypse is nigh!
Good lord! Garbage strikes, liquor strikes, singers and spokespeople drropping like flies, its a madhouse these days!
I was just thinking about a disturbing thing the other day... The average person spends an incredible amount of money on day to day life! It doesn't seem like much, but it ads up real quick when you think about it, heres a guess, at the average person:
Rent = (say) 800/month = $27/day
Phone = (home +cell) 90/month = $3/day
Food = 200/month = $7/day
Social (bar/restaurants) = 200/month = $7/day
Habits? (smoking, herb, beer) = pretty arbitrary. nut it could reasonably be up to $15/day
That puts us at almost 60/day already, then if you like to get around thats maybe 10 more for the bus.... If you've got a car theres gas, insurance, parking, lease...
If money is the root of all evil, evil is freakin busy, that stuff never sticks around!
I was just thinking about a disturbing thing the other day... The average person spends an incredible amount of money on day to day life! It doesn't seem like much, but it ads up real quick when you think about it, heres a guess, at the average person:
Rent = (say) 800/month = $27/day
Phone = (home +cell) 90/month = $3/day
Food = 200/month = $7/day
Social (bar/restaurants) = 200/month = $7/day
Habits? (smoking, herb, beer) = pretty arbitrary. nut it could reasonably be up to $15/day
That puts us at almost 60/day already, then if you like to get around thats maybe 10 more for the bus.... If you've got a car theres gas, insurance, parking, lease...
If money is the root of all evil, evil is freakin busy, that stuff never sticks around!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Tom Cruise...
Remember when he was cool? Yeah, me neither... I just reaffirmed how much I hate that dude this afternoon watching Tropic Thunder again. Tom picked a character that he was really able to mesh with, he was able to do this because I believe that he truly believes that he is the hottest shit on the planet... Funny too, since he hasn't really been relevant as an actor since he dumped Nicole (what a twit for that too huh?) Seriously, have you heard anything interesting about Cruise other than tales of his unhinged, bizarro antics?
Sorry, theres not many people in show-biz that I have any beef with, but our boy Tom is at the top of that list :P
Sorry, theres not many people in show-biz that I have any beef with, but our boy Tom is at the top of that list :P
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Just wanna do something special, for all the ladies in the world!
*does my little dance*
Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! Jay and Silent Bob are in the hiz-ouse!! Just realized that I have a whole hand worth of followers, and they're aaaaaaalll ladies! A toast is in order!
I guess blogging is kind of like take-out stand up, or at least it could be... I make with the funny from the comfort of my sleek sexy hospital bed, and you are free to access it where and whenever you want... Just like a pizza! Yeah thats it.
'And yay' quoth Jules, 'the ladies shalt heed mine senseless ramblings and thusly, be entertained'
Here endeth the lesson.
Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! Jay and Silent Bob are in the hiz-ouse!! Just realized that I have a whole hand worth of followers, and they're aaaaaaalll ladies! A toast is in order!
I guess blogging is kind of like take-out stand up, or at least it could be... I make with the funny from the comfort of my sleek sexy hospital bed, and you are free to access it where and whenever you want... Just like a pizza! Yeah thats it.
'And yay' quoth Jules, 'the ladies shalt heed mine senseless ramblings and thusly, be entertained'
Here endeth the lesson.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Surf Watch!!!
Theres a new crime fighting force patrolling the waves of the Woodbine beach!!! Ray Campanelli leads a deadbeat cast of elite beach cops, patrolling for kids having fun, or lighting fires and drinking and stuff.... Its an idea, it may not be a good one, but at least its better than Two and a Half Men-ZING!!
Thank you, thank you, I'm here all night!
Thank you, thank you, I'm here all night!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Late-night sentimental type crap
Yeah I know I already posted tonight, but some things were left unsaid, and I just half-watched a weird relationship movie. I wasn't really paying attention to all the details, but it got me thinking a lot about the nature of relationships, and people who go for that sort of thing....
I dunno, I'm in a weird place right now where I want to be a part of someone that isnt myself, and to start that process again, but I have so many doubts about .... Shit, where do I start? I have no income, and thus no money, I have barely any physical stability or strength, and I haven't got a meaningful social outlet for meeting new people except waiting in the welfare line.... And thats NOT a wholesome place to pick up! Fuck! Talk about damaged goods!
So what? Any suggestions?
I dunno, I'm in a weird place right now where I want to be a part of someone that isnt myself, and to start that process again, but I have so many doubts about .... Shit, where do I start? I have no income, and thus no money, I have barely any physical stability or strength, and I haven't got a meaningful social outlet for meeting new people except waiting in the welfare line.... And thats NOT a wholesome place to pick up! Fuck! Talk about damaged goods!
So what? Any suggestions?
What if I wrote a song called Drive
So the other day I came up with this chord progression that I thought sounded pretty sweet. On my way home from jamming with the guys I polished it and made it sound nice, something truly my own.... The next day I played it to myself, trying to make some semblance of a tune for the song- and that's when tragedy struck, tragedy in the form of a realization... My beautiful new song, was in fact a collaboration by Santana and Everlast...
Alas, the plight of the artist is common to all mediums, we strive to create new in a place where there is no more room for novelty... No, not novelty, but refinement, permutations, new from the old... I know this is old stuff, but I'm working it out in my mind as I put it to words...
As a part of my coming to terms with this fact, I've decided that the best course is to take a progression I like, and come up with my own tune, my own words and that will be the end of it... Wow thats funny, not long ago I had the same realization about writing... OK, that one is really obvious, but when I start wrapping my brain around an idea it sometimes takes a while, but then again some ideas are much bigger than you could ever initially imagine.
So in conclusion, the moral of the story is that.... Oh dang! I always suck at these... The moral is, brush your teeth every night, and don't sweat creative nonsense like creative cliches or patterns. They are inescapable, and whats more, a couple of generations down the road, there won't be anything that isnt a cliche, itll all have been done so much that its meaning has dissapeared!
Hesus! Do you have any idea what that means?!? It means that the so called non-conformist, individualist movement is just a sham!!! An agent of all that is conformity!!! And theres no escape! Its already to late!!! Holy Crap thats a lot of exclamation points!!!!!
If you'll excuse me, no novelty and no individuality makes Jules something something....
;^)
Alas, the plight of the artist is common to all mediums, we strive to create new in a place where there is no more room for novelty... No, not novelty, but refinement, permutations, new from the old... I know this is old stuff, but I'm working it out in my mind as I put it to words...
As a part of my coming to terms with this fact, I've decided that the best course is to take a progression I like, and come up with my own tune, my own words and that will be the end of it... Wow thats funny, not long ago I had the same realization about writing... OK, that one is really obvious, but when I start wrapping my brain around an idea it sometimes takes a while, but then again some ideas are much bigger than you could ever initially imagine.
So in conclusion, the moral of the story is that.... Oh dang! I always suck at these... The moral is, brush your teeth every night, and don't sweat creative nonsense like creative cliches or patterns. They are inescapable, and whats more, a couple of generations down the road, there won't be anything that isnt a cliche, itll all have been done so much that its meaning has dissapeared!
Hesus! Do you have any idea what that means?!? It means that the so called non-conformist, individualist movement is just a sham!!! An agent of all that is conformity!!! And theres no escape! Its already to late!!! Holy Crap thats a lot of exclamation points!!!!!
If you'll excuse me, no novelty and no individuality makes Jules something something....
;^)
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Peaceful Warrior
Hey all, I just thought I'd mention this book that means a whole lot to me. The Peaceful Warrior is a story about a dude about my age, who is reasonably "happy" with his life, but then discovers with the help of an old mystic at a gas station that he has only scratched the surface of real happiness.
Part of his training is that he goes through spiritual and physical trauma. In doing so, he strengthens his spirit, and loses his mind, but in a beneficial way. He loses the part of his mind that provides him with obsession, worry, and noise in his head, and opens the gate to enlightenment, and unreasonable happiness. Unreasonable because you should never need a reason to be happy, happiness can be found in the simplest things, like the continuing magic of existance unfolding.
I really like the story, I read it a few years ago, and it was really nice to revisit it again now... IT left me realizing that I've found and applied some of the wisdom that the book has to offer, but there are still weaknesses in myself that I need to work on.... I'm still the fool with a spirit, caught up in my own drama.... There are a lot of ideas that are incredibly difficult to put into words, nay that can't be put into words, but are more felt that I'm opening my eyes to again, and will hopefully be able to use to strengthen my own spirit even further.
Look I never really go for spirituality or religeon, or anything that tells you how to live your life, but this book is an amazing guide to the strength and spirituality of self that everyone has in them, and I'd recommend it to anyone who.... sorry, anyone, period.
Happy long weekend everyone, see you next time!
Part of his training is that he goes through spiritual and physical trauma. In doing so, he strengthens his spirit, and loses his mind, but in a beneficial way. He loses the part of his mind that provides him with obsession, worry, and noise in his head, and opens the gate to enlightenment, and unreasonable happiness. Unreasonable because you should never need a reason to be happy, happiness can be found in the simplest things, like the continuing magic of existance unfolding.
I really like the story, I read it a few years ago, and it was really nice to revisit it again now... IT left me realizing that I've found and applied some of the wisdom that the book has to offer, but there are still weaknesses in myself that I need to work on.... I'm still the fool with a spirit, caught up in my own drama.... There are a lot of ideas that are incredibly difficult to put into words, nay that can't be put into words, but are more felt that I'm opening my eyes to again, and will hopefully be able to use to strengthen my own spirit even further.
Look I never really go for spirituality or religeon, or anything that tells you how to live your life, but this book is an amazing guide to the strength and spirituality of self that everyone has in them, and I'd recommend it to anyone who.... sorry, anyone, period.
Happy long weekend everyone, see you next time!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Sweet Something of Somewhere!
Jeez, I've been waiting almost 3 months for shit to start getting together after this supid accident and its still exactly where it was! We live in a left leaning country despite the efforts of our Conservative right-wingers in power, and yet it takes forever for help to get to those who need it, for example me... I applied for welfare and started recieving it automatically, but when it comes to our other support systems, I can't even get a human being on the phone, let alone get help when its needed. They set it up so you always need some paperwork that you don't have, and its remarkably simple how they do it; they send you a flood of paperwork and make it so that three other people have to sign it with you, yarg!!!
I've still got ideas flowing for my big writing effort as well. I'm not sure how you're supposed to go about doing this but I'm working on the ideas for characters, thats going OK so far, I don't want to ruin the sory so I won't say too much until I've actually got this thing in full swing. I also have the basic idea for the plot and how its going to unfold, but right now the creative skeleton is kind of brittle and in desperate need of fleshing out. Ah well, itll be fine, I'm just percolating for now....
I've still got ideas flowing for my big writing effort as well. I'm not sure how you're supposed to go about doing this but I'm working on the ideas for characters, thats going OK so far, I don't want to ruin the sory so I won't say too much until I've actually got this thing in full swing. I also have the basic idea for the plot and how its going to unfold, but right now the creative skeleton is kind of brittle and in desperate need of fleshing out. Ah well, itll be fine, I'm just percolating for now....
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I Did It!!!
I did it! I cracked the code! I know what it takes to be a prolific writer! All you need is a little imagination, and no money at all! When you're broke and want to do things, but can't afford to, you write, like, all the time!!! So now that I have achieved this status, I'm ready to write, mostly because there is nothing else to do!
Not to discredit you, dear reader, I don't want you to feel like a last resort, I love to come here and attempt to entertain you, but you have to understand that its hard to make time to muse and aspire in text form when theres stuff to do! I confess I'd rather be out in the park with friends making music in the sun, but sometimes one or more of the variables are missing, and the equation is suddenly lacking...
Anyway, I have an idea for a story that hopefully I can develop into a full on ... dare I say.... novel? That would be cool but I don't know if I'm ready. I want to write a story from the perspective of God, and voice his frustration in needing to have a plan, and how its like the scrpit to the biggest, longest movie ever. He would be faced with players who'd seen their last curtain complaining about the writing, or their lack of lines in the main dialogue.... The more I think about this story the more I think I can make it happen, at least as a compelling short story. If anyone out there is reading let me know what you think....
Not to discredit you, dear reader, I don't want you to feel like a last resort, I love to come here and attempt to entertain you, but you have to understand that its hard to make time to muse and aspire in text form when theres stuff to do! I confess I'd rather be out in the park with friends making music in the sun, but sometimes one or more of the variables are missing, and the equation is suddenly lacking...
Anyway, I have an idea for a story that hopefully I can develop into a full on ... dare I say.... novel? That would be cool but I don't know if I'm ready. I want to write a story from the perspective of God, and voice his frustration in needing to have a plan, and how its like the scrpit to the biggest, longest movie ever. He would be faced with players who'd seen their last curtain complaining about the writing, or their lack of lines in the main dialogue.... The more I think about this story the more I think I can make it happen, at least as a compelling short story. If anyone out there is reading let me know what you think....
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Slipstream
Just saw the flick Slipstream for what will definitely be the first of several times. A very ... Strange movie, but enigmatically enjoyable. Anthony Hopkins wrote directed and starred in it, and thus it is entirely his cinematic plaything.. I didn't catch the first part of the movie, but it seemed to be an expression of a prolific writer on his deathbed weaving one last story out of his previous works and experiences, using the people around him as characters that overlap with different charachters he created around them.
I'd recommend it if you were looking for a way to detatch yourself from reality for a while, and contemplate your own existance... I'll be back again soon, but now its time for dinner.
I'd recommend it if you were looking for a way to detatch yourself from reality for a while, and contemplate your own existance... I'll be back again soon, but now its time for dinner.
Monday, April 20, 2009
A story for Ari
OK now, its time to put on your beret, get out your bongos, and just groooooove with me for a minute, its about to get crunchy in here.
Amazingly, abstinece allows absolutly amazing ambience. Blackly brooding, brotther broke barriers bluntly by bringing big banter. Carefully clutching a crimson crayon, creation crawls coyly centre-stage. Drafts dart dangerously, dragging disorderly demons into darkness. Everywhere, every event enters evidence. For freakish frivolity, and for fans, feverishly fliting from front to far. God grimaces. I hadn't heard him heartily hating... Ideas? Images? Its insidious, isn't it?
Just joking.
Damn thats kinda tricky and more than a little incoherent, but all the spirit of flexing the creative muscle. So heres the deal, I'm gonna get a little crazy up in here, I need to shake loose the shackles of archetypes and just say stuff, not worrying about if its been said before, but just saying it in my words and to hell with the critics!
And before I go, heres an old favorite, I posted this on a couple of other sources, but its one of my favorite things I've ever written, a psychadellically inspired tale of tumultuous love between myself and a lady I've never stopped loving, and maybe never will.... For your reading pleasure, I present to you, the tale of Mary Jane and I.
***
I first met Mary Jane in grade 8. All my friernds were buzzing about her, she hung out with all the cool kids. When we first met she didn't really do anything for me, I just didn't see why everyone liked her so much. For a couple of years I didn't think about her, save the occasional time she came up in conversation. Then, one beautiful spring day, I met her again in the park. She was with some friends of mine, and they all welcomed me to join them. I did, and it was excellent, Mary Jane and I connected in this new way that I never imagined before. I started seeing her during lunch, I knew I shouldn't because she always left my head spinning, but she was just so much fun to be around. After a while, I made a decision and swore her off, saying that I'd just visit with her on the weekends. It was getting to the point that she was alienating me from the rest of my friends, so I took it easy again. By the time I got to university, she and I were old friends. Second year, I married her, she was always with me. And it was passionate, sometimes we were together ten times a day. But it was a life I couldn't hope to maintain. When I broke off the marriage, I ended a lot of things in my life. I dropped out of university, found myself in a lot of debt, and had to start making a life for myself. I still see her, maybe its weakness, but our affair will likely never end. I love Mary Jane, and the way she makes me feel. We still have mutual friends and we get together with them from time to time. She really is less of an influence in my life these days, but I'll always remember her, even if one day I swear her off completely.
Reposted: 4/20/2009
Amazingly, abstinece allows absolutly amazing ambience. Blackly brooding, brotther broke barriers bluntly by bringing big banter. Carefully clutching a crimson crayon, creation crawls coyly centre-stage. Drafts dart dangerously, dragging disorderly demons into darkness. Everywhere, every event enters evidence. For freakish frivolity, and for fans, feverishly fliting from front to far. God grimaces. I hadn't heard him heartily hating... Ideas? Images? Its insidious, isn't it?
Just joking.
Damn thats kinda tricky and more than a little incoherent, but all the spirit of flexing the creative muscle. So heres the deal, I'm gonna get a little crazy up in here, I need to shake loose the shackles of archetypes and just say stuff, not worrying about if its been said before, but just saying it in my words and to hell with the critics!
And before I go, heres an old favorite, I posted this on a couple of other sources, but its one of my favorite things I've ever written, a psychadellically inspired tale of tumultuous love between myself and a lady I've never stopped loving, and maybe never will.... For your reading pleasure, I present to you, the tale of Mary Jane and I.
***
I first met Mary Jane in grade 8. All my friernds were buzzing about her, she hung out with all the cool kids. When we first met she didn't really do anything for me, I just didn't see why everyone liked her so much. For a couple of years I didn't think about her, save the occasional time she came up in conversation. Then, one beautiful spring day, I met her again in the park. She was with some friends of mine, and they all welcomed me to join them. I did, and it was excellent, Mary Jane and I connected in this new way that I never imagined before. I started seeing her during lunch, I knew I shouldn't because she always left my head spinning, but she was just so much fun to be around. After a while, I made a decision and swore her off, saying that I'd just visit with her on the weekends. It was getting to the point that she was alienating me from the rest of my friends, so I took it easy again. By the time I got to university, she and I were old friends. Second year, I married her, she was always with me. And it was passionate, sometimes we were together ten times a day. But it was a life I couldn't hope to maintain. When I broke off the marriage, I ended a lot of things in my life. I dropped out of university, found myself in a lot of debt, and had to start making a life for myself. I still see her, maybe its weakness, but our affair will likely never end. I love Mary Jane, and the way she makes me feel. We still have mutual friends and we get together with them from time to time. She really is less of an influence in my life these days, but I'll always remember her, even if one day I swear her off completely.
Reposted: 4/20/2009
The Creativity Cha cha cha
Yesterday I had a good day. I spent the day hanging out and playing music in the sun with some of my best friends. Talk about fuel for the soul, I feel great today, even looking out at the rain and grey that is today now. I've started and bailed a couple of times at some creative writing behind the scenes here. I forgot how frustrating it is to write creatively when I'm not in a constantly changing scene. It was easy when I was on the road , there was enough going on that even if you couldn't recall the details, there were enough general ideas floating around to put together something worth rreading. That said I like to think that my writing style has evolved somewhat from my high school blogging endevours...
ARG! Every time I start writing something I wonder if its too personal for public forum, or if its just completely irrelevant to anyone but myself. I suppose I could leave it here for now, and I'll work on actually having a story worth telling for next time :P
ARG! Every time I start writing something I wonder if its too personal for public forum, or if its just completely irrelevant to anyone but myself. I suppose I could leave it here for now, and I'll work on actually having a story worth telling for next time :P
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Summa time
So here we go again, I'm pleased to say that I have regained more of my endurance back. While I'm still no good for running or jumping, I have been able to make increasingly long walks with minimal pain. I'm still sad that I can't do my ninja stuff anymore, but I am dealing with it... Its a little easier knowing that I don't have a choice. Thats one strength that I have been leaning on a lot lately, my ability to accept things that I can't change. On the flip side of that of course I do plan to regain as much of what I lost as possible, but I know that its not all coming back.
I'm excited too because I'm quickly approaching the deadline for this stupid back brace, and once I'm out of that, I'm into physio, and one step closer to having my life back. I know that there will be more pain involved, but its in the interest of getting full mobility back. I'd go to hell and back to be able to do something as simple as climb a tree again, and I suspect that if I do, it'll be just that.
I keep wanting to say more, but for now I don't know what to say, so I'll leave it at that for now. And I'll try to come back soon!
PS way to go Julia being my first and only official reader :P
I'm excited too because I'm quickly approaching the deadline for this stupid back brace, and once I'm out of that, I'm into physio, and one step closer to having my life back. I know that there will be more pain involved, but its in the interest of getting full mobility back. I'd go to hell and back to be able to do something as simple as climb a tree again, and I suspect that if I do, it'll be just that.
I keep wanting to say more, but for now I don't know what to say, so I'll leave it at that for now. And I'll try to come back soon!
PS way to go Julia being my first and only official reader :P
Saturday, March 28, 2009
The Plateau
Hey kids, here we go again, I haven't been here in a while, as I seem to have plateaued... My healing process is going well still I guess, which is to say that the surface stuff has healed quickly, and now the deeper more serious stuff is just chugging on. Its hard because no matter what I do its going to take more time. And while I'm trying to avoid going stir crazy, and simultaneously trying to figure out just what the hell I'm going to do with the rest of my life now, I can't help but wish that I could just climb a tree and hide up there for a while.
I saw some kids doing parkour yesterday and it kind of sucked for me. Knowing that while I'm mobile and such now, I'm more like 70 year old lady mobile, and not really capable of sustaining the shock of jumping... period.
I'm still playing lots of guitar, still fantasizing about doing another big hitching trip this summer, but I really don't know what the cards hold for me. Its all gone so well recently, but I wonder when I'll hit the wall. That thought is the source of most of my terror right now. When am I going to get to the point where I'm not going to recover beyond that. Where does things I "used to be able to do" start? I know that I'm going to get a lot back, and I know that I should be grateful for every breath I have, but when is that wall coming, and will I be able to handle being on my side of it...
See ya next time kids, hopefully with something nicer to talk about.
I saw some kids doing parkour yesterday and it kind of sucked for me. Knowing that while I'm mobile and such now, I'm more like 70 year old lady mobile, and not really capable of sustaining the shock of jumping... period.
I'm still playing lots of guitar, still fantasizing about doing another big hitching trip this summer, but I really don't know what the cards hold for me. Its all gone so well recently, but I wonder when I'll hit the wall. That thought is the source of most of my terror right now. When am I going to get to the point where I'm not going to recover beyond that. Where does things I "used to be able to do" start? I know that I'm going to get a lot back, and I know that I should be grateful for every breath I have, but when is that wall coming, and will I be able to handle being on my side of it...
See ya next time kids, hopefully with something nicer to talk about.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Indecision
So where does one go from here? I'm feel like I'm stuck in a quarter-life crisis.... I have to decide for sure what I want to do with life, and I need to suitably prepare myself for it. Start with 2 rounded table spoons of education, one cup full of stable job, a teaspoon of health benefits, and a dash of stable romantic relationship, mix thoroughly with thought and introspection, and bake until reasonably solid... If only I knew where to find all the ingredients.
But this seems so gloomy, I'm not really unhappy about this new shakeup.... I came out with a lot of good stuff going my way, I'm alive to tell the tale, I can move under my own power (*phew), and I have a world of opportunity available to me while I'm under the financial care of insurance. While they won't give me an income, they have been taking care of the costs of my surgery and recovery. Also, maybe, just maybe, I will have the opportunity to retrain myself with insurance. I'm likely to opt for a general English degree, while I decide between journalism and music management... Its tricky, I'd love both, but I would literally be living a dream if I could be a roving, perhaps even gonzo, journalist; not necessarily on all kinds of drugs mind you, but being unconventional, constantly moving, and showing a new minimalist way of life through my words and stories. Am I too old to want to be a revolutionary for social change? What if I still believe you can change things and make them better, even on a large scale? Am I a fool to think its worth a try? But if I don't who will?
Dang, that's a lot of questions, all these answers and more next time.... Same bat-time, same bat channel!
But this seems so gloomy, I'm not really unhappy about this new shakeup.... I came out with a lot of good stuff going my way, I'm alive to tell the tale, I can move under my own power (*phew), and I have a world of opportunity available to me while I'm under the financial care of insurance. While they won't give me an income, they have been taking care of the costs of my surgery and recovery. Also, maybe, just maybe, I will have the opportunity to retrain myself with insurance. I'm likely to opt for a general English degree, while I decide between journalism and music management... Its tricky, I'd love both, but I would literally be living a dream if I could be a roving, perhaps even gonzo, journalist; not necessarily on all kinds of drugs mind you, but being unconventional, constantly moving, and showing a new minimalist way of life through my words and stories. Am I too old to want to be a revolutionary for social change? What if I still believe you can change things and make them better, even on a large scale? Am I a fool to think its worth a try? But if I don't who will?
Dang, that's a lot of questions, all these answers and more next time.... Same bat-time, same bat channel!
How does one drum up support here?
How do I get someone, nay, everyone to follow my blog? I'm sure an integral first step would be to have some interesting content, but should I try and find pics and videos that are fun and cute? I feel like no. I feel like I should focus on my writing, as that is the purpose of this exercise. But at the same time this crazy multi-media world we live in, will just text (no matter how delightful) be enough? Can I get away with saying what i think and care about alone? Or should I punctuate it with stupid pictures of cute animals so the kids don't get bored?
Alas, its all folly anyway, I'm gonna follow my gut and stick to my own musings, let the high school kids and bored/boring housewives deal with kittens in baskets and the like. A true writer needs no illustrations, save perhaps cover art, but I'll worry about that when I write a book.
That's been a plan for a while, but I carry the curse of many aspiring writers, all I have is a stupid idea for a plot, and some characters that are really just me or what I do or don't want to be... *sigh I think it largely stems from the fact that I'm too familiar with archetypes, and too proud to use the same basic plot lines that are already in every other novel in existence. I feel like if I were to write a novel it would have to shatter the formula.... You know set up tension that's never resolved, let the bad guy win, all that stuff you're not allowed to do if you want the public to like it.
Well thats all I got for now, hope someone out there likes it. See you soon!
Alas, its all folly anyway, I'm gonna follow my gut and stick to my own musings, let the high school kids and bored/boring housewives deal with kittens in baskets and the like. A true writer needs no illustrations, save perhaps cover art, but I'll worry about that when I write a book.
That's been a plan for a while, but I carry the curse of many aspiring writers, all I have is a stupid idea for a plot, and some characters that are really just me or what I do or don't want to be... *sigh I think it largely stems from the fact that I'm too familiar with archetypes, and too proud to use the same basic plot lines that are already in every other novel in existence. I feel like if I were to write a novel it would have to shatter the formula.... You know set up tension that's never resolved, let the bad guy win, all that stuff you're not allowed to do if you want the public to like it.
Well thats all I got for now, hope someone out there likes it. See you soon!
Monday, March 9, 2009
The Great yet Humble Beginning
Wow I haven't done this is a couple of years now, and now that I think about it I kind of missed it. I suppose I should start at the beginning. I'm 24 now, up until a month ago, I was happily working as a waiter.
Then on Febuary 12th, I was hit by a cab while rollerblading downtown. The next day, Friday the 13th, I went under the knife at St. Mikes hospital for major reconstructive surgury on my back; the accident left me with one completely shattered lumbar in my lower back. I spent my worst Valentines to date in the ICU, swimming around in uncertainty, and a morphine induced haze, wondering if I would be able to walk ever again. Turns out I had a brilliant surgeon, and not only did the surgury go smoothly, but I was up and walking (albeit painfully for a while) a couple of days later.
Now we get back to my mention of being a waiter. As you may have guessed my spine is not as strong as it once was, and suddenly the prospect of lugging around 24s, kegs of beer, and several plates of food around for a living doesn't seem like such a keen option. Too bad to, I was really good at it, and really didn't know anything else. I'd been working service industry since I was a kid.
This lead me to start thinking about a career change. Weather I liked it or not, I would have to do something else to make my money. So I started thinking. I like music, making it, listening to it, and just the vibe that musicians put out there. I like writing, though I don't have any formal training, I've always at least been able to put a sentence together, and when I'm lucky I could even make a few of them make sense together. How am I doing so far? I also really like travel, and lately, more specifically, I've loved hitchhiking around Canada.
Now any of the above things would be pretty tricky to make a career out of individually, but what if I were to amjalgamate the three into the ultimate career? What if I could get paid to hitch around this country and write about the music and adventures I had on the way? Wouldn't that be sweet? Any takers?
I'm hoping that somewhere in this beautiful country there is a publication that is looking for a fun loving wordsmith with an unbreakable spirit, and (litterally) nerves of steel (hit by a car! Come on!), to write for them regularly. Until I find such a publication, I'll settle for blogger, and get my chops up til my next big break.
So far I've hitched from Halifax to Vancouver (that was a race too, and an aborted documentary), and from Toronto to the far end of Newfoundland and back the year after that. This year, provided my spinal recovery goes according to plan is to do PEI and back, but theres a good chance thatI'll be doing Lake Louise/Calgary too. That largely has to do with time money, and weather or not I hit the afore-mentioned big break.
Tune in next time kids, and I'll do my best to keep you entertained!
Cheers,
Jules
Then on Febuary 12th, I was hit by a cab while rollerblading downtown. The next day, Friday the 13th, I went under the knife at St. Mikes hospital for major reconstructive surgury on my back; the accident left me with one completely shattered lumbar in my lower back. I spent my worst Valentines to date in the ICU, swimming around in uncertainty, and a morphine induced haze, wondering if I would be able to walk ever again. Turns out I had a brilliant surgeon, and not only did the surgury go smoothly, but I was up and walking (albeit painfully for a while) a couple of days later.
Now we get back to my mention of being a waiter. As you may have guessed my spine is not as strong as it once was, and suddenly the prospect of lugging around 24s, kegs of beer, and several plates of food around for a living doesn't seem like such a keen option. Too bad to, I was really good at it, and really didn't know anything else. I'd been working service industry since I was a kid.
This lead me to start thinking about a career change. Weather I liked it or not, I would have to do something else to make my money. So I started thinking. I like music, making it, listening to it, and just the vibe that musicians put out there. I like writing, though I don't have any formal training, I've always at least been able to put a sentence together, and when I'm lucky I could even make a few of them make sense together. How am I doing so far? I also really like travel, and lately, more specifically, I've loved hitchhiking around Canada.
Now any of the above things would be pretty tricky to make a career out of individually, but what if I were to amjalgamate the three into the ultimate career? What if I could get paid to hitch around this country and write about the music and adventures I had on the way? Wouldn't that be sweet? Any takers?
I'm hoping that somewhere in this beautiful country there is a publication that is looking for a fun loving wordsmith with an unbreakable spirit, and (litterally) nerves of steel (hit by a car! Come on!), to write for them regularly. Until I find such a publication, I'll settle for blogger, and get my chops up til my next big break.
So far I've hitched from Halifax to Vancouver (that was a race too, and an aborted documentary), and from Toronto to the far end of Newfoundland and back the year after that. This year, provided my spinal recovery goes according to plan is to do PEI and back, but theres a good chance thatI'll be doing Lake Louise/Calgary too. That largely has to do with time money, and weather or not I hit the afore-mentioned big break.
Tune in next time kids, and I'll do my best to keep you entertained!
Cheers,
Jules
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