Summer of you knooooow whatever!

So here it is, the cold hard truth, its August already, and that means September is right around the corner... *shakes head in disgust*

I find myself looking back on the time thats passed since my life was turned upside down, and realizing that its already been half a year... Six months since I was folded in half under a car, wondering if I'd ever walk again... Its still so surreal...

Excuse me, I guess I'm just gathering my thoughts for tomorrow. I have an insurance sponsored psychological evaluation, and I'm not even sure what its about. I assume it has something to do with my settlement, an assessment of damage, and I really dont know what I'm going to say...

On one hand, I've been trying my best to live as close to a normal life as I can muster, and while the pain in my back has been a nearly constant companion, I've managed to at least appear normal...

But on the other hand, though I have been able to "maintain" a lifestyle, theres still so much thats missing, and that will be for so long... I miss being able to push myself to the brink of exaustion, or even at all. I miss being able to go out and get a job, my independance- both financial and functional... Just little things that seem so easy to attain...

Blegh, what a life we live- but you know, when it boils down, at least the foods good!

Party tricks!

So heres a funny story, I went for an adventure this weekend to a house party up in Woodbridge... A sub-urban neighbourhood still in the process of being built. We parked next to the big pile of dirt, and while I went into the place with the two best looking girls there, we were relatively unnoticed...

I played wall flower for a beer and a half, taking the party in, and watching bemusedly as the kids there played a drinking game called "mushroom", stacking playing cards precariously on the top of a beer bottle. When I got bored, I stepped outside, and sat down to spin one- immediately a slightly drunk person shows up at my side "Hey man, I need your guitar to impress a couple of girls inside" being the trusting sort, I let him, and sudenly I was "the coolest" just for having brought the guitar, having not yet even played it :P

Overall, an excellent evening, and an interesting adventure, I scored a foldout couch to sleep on and then on the train ride home, I sat packed into the GO train with a bunch of girls and lady-boys in gold bras and glitter doing eachothers' hair in front of me most of the way :)

Time for a paranoid sounding ramble!

Back! And stranger than ever! I've been thinking a long time about humanity and its future from here... I've come to realize that we're getting ready to take our next "evolutionary" step; We're on the brink of transfering our very being from a carbon to a silicon foundation. We are silmultaneously hurtling ourselves towards a life of existance solely on the computers, and creating computers that can thing, reason, communicate, even create, just like us.

We live now in an age where one can spends an entire (and reasonably) functional life without ever leaving their computer. Through that screen, you can shop for anything you could imagine, from food to clothes to entertainment (viewable on computers, of course) to company for the evening! People take courses online, while they're there, they chat with friends via instant messaging services, they plan a webcam party for that evening, switch tabs and order a pizza, and only even have to stand up to go to the bathroom! And we wonder why people arent getting enough exercise!

We are phasing out creativity at a furious rate too, movies become so formulaic, and charachters become so repeated that the viewing public doesn't even notice that every movie is now being released 3 times with a progressivly watered down plot (trilogies, pfft)... Music isn't a creative enterprize anymore, people dont buy guitars to make mucis anymore, they learn to play someone elses songs, and whats worse is that most of the "popular" music being made these days by robots anyway!

And on top of it all, there is a never-ending drive to make computers smarted and more like us, how often do you hear the words "intuitive software" these days its everywhere! You're golf clubs have a computer helping you play the game!

So to round it all out I submit this statement: Humanity is preparing itself to transfer conciousness, our very "soul" on to computer technology. We are working on making computers into brains, and weather that leads to Star Trek or to Terminator, its coming!

The Apocalypse is nigh!

Good lord! Garbage strikes, liquor strikes, singers and spokespeople drropping like flies, its a madhouse these days!

I was just thinking about a disturbing thing the other day... The average person spends an incredible amount of money on day to day life! It doesn't seem like much, but it ads up real quick when you think about it, heres a guess, at the average person:

Rent = (say) 800/month = $27/day
Phone = (home +cell) 90/month = $3/day
Food = 200/month = $7/day
Social (bar/restaurants) = 200/month = $7/day
Habits? (smoking, herb, beer) = pretty arbitrary. nut it could reasonably be up to $15/day

That puts us at almost 60/day already, then if you like to get around thats maybe 10 more for the bus.... If you've got a car theres gas, insurance, parking, lease...

If money is the root of all evil, evil is freakin busy, that stuff never sticks around!

Tom Cruise...

Remember when he was cool? Yeah, me neither... I just reaffirmed how much I hate that dude this afternoon watching Tropic Thunder again. Tom picked a character that he was really able to mesh with, he was able to do this because I believe that he truly believes that he is the hottest shit on the planet... Funny too, since he hasn't really been relevant as an actor since he dumped Nicole (what a twit for that too huh?) Seriously, have you heard anything interesting about Cruise other than tales of his unhinged, bizarro antics?

Sorry, theres not many people in show-biz that I have any beef with, but our boy Tom is at the top of that list :P

Just wanna do something special, for all the ladies in the world!

*does my little dance*
Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! Jay and Silent Bob are in the hiz-ouse!! Just realized that I have a whole hand worth of followers, and they're aaaaaaalll ladies! A toast is in order!

I guess blogging is kind of like take-out stand up, or at least it could be... I make with the funny from the comfort of my sleek sexy hospital bed, and you are free to access it where and whenever you want... Just like a pizza! Yeah thats it.

'And yay' quoth Jules, 'the ladies shalt heed mine senseless ramblings and thusly, be entertained'

Here endeth the lesson.

Surf Watch!!!

Theres a new crime fighting force patrolling the waves of the Woodbine beach!!! Ray Campanelli leads a deadbeat cast of elite beach cops, patrolling for kids having fun, or lighting fires and drinking and stuff.... Its an idea, it may not be a good one, but at least its better than Two and a Half Men-ZING!!

Thank you, thank you, I'm here all night!